There was little doubt in Ziltoid's mind that this was the finest coffee he had ever tasted.
Ziltoid was sitting at a table in his favorite local coffee shop, back home on Ziltoidia-9. Five empty coffee cups sat on the table, and Ziltoid was loudly drinking his sixth. As he finished the last of that cup, he contently sighed, and placed the sixth empty cup of coffee on his table.
“Indeed!” exclaimed Ziltoid to himself. “It seems that the coffee of this usually-satisfactory coffee shop has somehow evolved into a coffee that can only be described as transcendental! I shall have another!” Ziltoid rose from his chair, and turned towards the counter, only to freeze when he noticed that the employee behind the counter had been physically replaced by the sun of Ziltoidia.
Ziltoid woke to the Ziltoidian sun shining through the window of his hotel bedroom. He was on vacation in Ziltoidia 5. The first sensation he noticed was that, while he couldn't remember the taste of the “transcendental” coffee from his dream, he had a stronger-than-normal craving for coffee. Almost automatically, Ziltoid had decided that he was going to pay the local coffee shop a visit. He stepped out of bed, donned his favorite crimson robe, and exited his apartment.
Ziltoid made his way out of the hotel. The coffee shop was a short walk away, just down the street and around the corner...
“What?!”
The only coffee shop in sight was a needless additional establishment of the coffee shop chain that Ziltoid had always refused to drink at: Starbucks.
“Fuey!” exclaimed Ziltoid. “My thirst for fine coffee lingers! And yet, in front of me stands a provider of an undoubtedly inferior brew.” He sighed, and paused. His craving for coffee was growing stronger, and somewhat more tolerant of potentially lesser coffee. The possibility occurred to Ziltoid that Starbucks was the only coffee shop on Ziltoidia 5. “Alas...” mumbled Ziltoid as he started walking towards the door.
As Ziltoid entered Starbucks, he noticed hat the scent of coffee was not all that promising. Shaking his head, he made his way to the counter.
“Can I help you?” asked a young Ziltoidian woman, smiling at Ziltoid.
“Yes, indeed!” said Ziltoid. “I shall have a cup of your ultimate cup of black coffee!”
“Okay,” said the employee. “That'll be one minute.” She left the counter to prepare Ziltoid's cup.
Doubts stated to fill Ziltoid's mind. Starbucks has to be as successful as it is for a reason. Its brew of coffee cannot possibly be that bad! But this scent...
Soon enough, the woman returned to the
counter, and placed the cup on it. “Okay,” she said, again
smiling. “That will be-”
Before the employee finished her
sentenced, Ziltoid picked up the cup. “Excellent,” he said. At
least he finally had coffee. He took a sip, only to confirm his
earlier fears:
“Fetid!” Ziltoid spat out his sip.
“How dare you present this to me!” The taste lingered. “Foul!
You hide your finest bean, and I shall have it!” Ziltoid threw the
cup at the stunned young woman, and then ran out of the Starbucks.
